Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i think my cat just said my name.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
