I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
