Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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