Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
