Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
