How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
