i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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