Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
