Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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