the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
