It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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