they need to just BURY HIM!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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