You really coming over, don't trick.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize