Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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