I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
