you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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