Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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