i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
