that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
