the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
