Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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