omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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