i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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