I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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