It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
