Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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