I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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