You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
