I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
