Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
