and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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