HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
