I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
