She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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