Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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