Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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