yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I touched a dick in church today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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