we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
