Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
