I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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