The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
