Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
