She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
