but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
nutella sex= disaster
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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