I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is Oprah even human
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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