i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
