he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
