Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
