Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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