yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
