oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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