I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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