Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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