You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
