I hate your face
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
birth control should be required to get into college
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
