he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
