her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
