I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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