i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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