he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
