i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I did not marry a roomba.
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