I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
