You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think my moral compass just broke
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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