I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
