i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize