i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I deserve this hangover.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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