I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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