They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
