You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
